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Self & Society
Community by Julie Fonda and Dwight Fuqua Introduction Recently a colleague and I got together; he has some cancer, probably terminal it appears. Paralyzed from the waist down now, this is spreading throughout his body as I write. Good family man, retired US Marine Corps veteran, he is the type of neighbor I prefer in life. Not much I can do for him, his family, even myself in this whole situation but be a friend for him. The telephone conversations are long, extended, as I do not want to embarrass him by being there in person, seeing the shell of the man I knew before. He recently had to change phones to a "headset"; he is losing control of his hands; cannot hold the usual phone up to his ear any longer for an extended conversation. We go on in our lives, go to work everyday, satisfy ourselves with temporal victories and gains in the day-to-day fray of life, think we are getting ahead. Then we sometimes get exposed to situations such as this and it rocks the boat. So it goes in this big world out there, just one little man suffering by himself, his wife trying to help, others like myself trying to figure out what we can do as little as it will be. So what can we do ? With all our technology, capabilities, we have not focused them on what is important. While I am a lowly electrical engineer, some computer skills inherent with my career, I do not think we are focusing our abilities on solving the root causes and treatment for this cancer stuff, probably true with many other diseases out there too. We launch and place a Lander on Planet Mars, pretty high tech: why can we not focus National Capabilities on fixing these medical problems such as Cancer ? We see it on the news every night, as we become more aware. I feel it is time to refocus priorities, get back to Planet Earth, take care of our own, cure these diseases we hear of: Cancer, AIDS….SARS, and the ones still popping up. Put our best minds behind correlating the root causes of these diseases, then eradicate them. We have the means, the technologies, however we have not focused them on this problem at hand. We all face it; just do not address it until it comes up. As a prostrate cancer survivor, I have faced it myself; some friends, the author of this article included, saw up-front and personal my struggles with the treatments provided, the pain involved. As a Nation, the acknowledged World Lead in these areas, it is time we engage and fix this mess. While a personal story, this article brings it home. I spoke with my friend yesterday: self-medicating and losing feeling in his upper body. We both know where it is going and skirt the major issue at hand: death. I think we can do better than leaving that as the only option. Dwight Fuqua Rosamond, CA January 23, 2004 Community by Julie Fonda Do you ever wonder what the ultimate purpose of our existence is -- why we are here? Were we put on the planet to pursue the desires of the flesh and to acquire as many of them as we have the time, opportunity and energy to amass? Does he/she who dies with the most toys win? Or is it status that we are here to achieve? Or possibly, wealth? Or is there no reason? Were we just an "accident" that resulted from a "Big Bang?" If we are honest with ourselves, all of us must admit that at some point in our lives, we have all dwelt upon and wrestled over this question. I go to the top of the mountain and look down upon the rest of humanity racing around, pursuing its goals, its rights, its possessions. But for some reason, when I stand at the top of the mountain - a safe place - and look down on the rest of the world frenetically gratifying itself, it is easier to ask myself what it’s all for and why I am here and how it is that I fit into the "big picture" that I am a part of every day. We all have our own roles to play, don’t we? A dying man lies in his bed, fighting for his life. He knows that his time is coming to meet his Maker, or just fade away into nothingness - whatever happens to be his personal belief of what his ultimate fate will be. And it’s different in every person’s mind. Some people have religion and some don’t. But we all have an opinion of what the ultimate reality of humanity is - or if there even is one at all. And next to the bed of the dying man, sits a good, solid, and true friend. The friend holds the ailing man’s hand and speaks to him in soothing tones - all while he would rather be anywhere thann where he is at that moment. It is all too sad watching his dear friend fade away in millimeter-sized increments - each tiny increment or small setback a major catastrophe in within itself. But he has made a personal choice to put aside his own feelings of sorrow and anger at a "God of Love" who would allow such suffering to prevail in the life of so good a man. He is there to help, not to feel good. And through his own hours of personal sacrifice, sitting next to his dying friend, quite by accident and very unexpectedly, he discovers the meaning of life. Not just the reason for his being in this room at this time. But what he was born to fulfill. He realizes that life was not intended to be the pursuit of one pleasurable experience that supersedes the last. The pursuit of life is not a game of seeking personal gratification. No. That is not why he is here. The brave friend, the good-hearted man, who chokes back his tears and gives a few hours of his own over-committed time to his suffering friend, realizes that the reason that he was put on the planet was to learn to live in a state of "Community." And sometimes living in Community with others is pleasurable and nothing short of glorious. But at other times, it is unbearably painful. But living in concert with the rest of humanity is always good and forever pure and opens us up to a broader, higher dimension of life and love that rewards us with a depth of character so much bigger than any "self" that we could possibly create during the course of our natural lifetimes. And happy are those who learn to walk this way during their sojourn on the planet. Living in Community - the giving of the best part of ourselves back to others - feels like the act of sprinting away from the natural human spirit and, instead, running in the opposite direction -- towards something Bigger than anything that we could ever manufacture on our own. It is the surrendering of our pleasures and of our rights and of our justifiable hurts and allowing something Better - the Essence of Goodness -- to direct what we do with our lives and who we associate with and the decisions we all ultimately make that impact everyone within our circle of friends and associates. The act of giving ourselves over to the Human Community as a whole can affect generations of people, and how they are perceived and treated for the rest of time. Living as part of the Human Community carries with it much responsibility, but its rewards are immeasurably more excellent than any that we can attain by ourselves, for our own gratification alone. It makes us a part of something larger, a higher state of mind and Spirit. The good friend places his head on the pillow of the dying man who has mercifully drifted off into sleep, and the healthy man gives in to the warm tears that he has been holding back, and relief fills his soul, as the tears flow freely. And as the man silently weeps, the dying man awakens, slowly turns his head in the direction of his dear, dear friend, and says to him: "I am going to go to God soon. Don’t cry, because I am at peace with that." And the two men, who were each once separate elements of humanity -- but who now are tangibly connected -- embrace. And at that precise second in time, both men understand -- with perfect clarity -- the meaning of their existence: Wisdom has disclosed to them that the most important thing that they can ever achieve - the highest state that a man or woman can ever actualize is to become a part of the Human Community - a Fellowship of Love - so that no one is ever - truly alone. January 22, 2004 About the Author(s): See under Our Contributors to find out about the Author(s) of this article. |
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