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Venerated Citizen
Lies, Deception, Honor and Privacy by Sophia Barkat As a child we are often told that lying and deception are moral evils. And yet, most of us have lied and will lie when it comes to protecting our privacy and our selves. Why do they say it, then? "Don't grow up to be a liar. Don't cheat. Don't deceive." Well, for one, society looks down upon and sometimes even punishes people for lying. And since we are not living in trees but in society, we try to be as socially acceptable as possible. And yet, none of us really like to give up our freedoms either. As newer and smarter breeds of politicians and lawmakers enter the game, we the social individual realize that our roots are somewhere else. We want the lawless society -- the peaceful naked existence in Nature where we can be left alone. So, as Patriot Act goes about terrorizing minorities and political dissidents I wonder about the merit of being socially acceptable, of honor and virtue, and of course of telling the truth. There are so many things we do instinctively that we would judge each other for. Eating is instinctive. Sex is too. For some being gay is instinctive. And often, lying is instinctive. In fact, all expression that cannot be denied is instinctive. We are as much liars as truth-tellers, and we are so because lying has its utilities. For one, it protects our privacy --- that which we regard is no one else's property but ours. I spend a lot of time chatting online. If I meet some person and he or she asks me for my social security number, I'm not going to gleefully hand it over. Not that I don't end up telling people who I am, but I tend to rely on my gut feeling when it comes to whom to trust, and have developed many good friends over the years. I don't lie about the fact that I'm a "dead-beat writer", though I do throw in the "kung fu fighter" just to spice it all up. In fact, most people I'm close to know me as a practical joker -- someone who pretends to be the voice of God on Christian Chat to avenge the daily intervention of pesky Christians at Buddhist Chat. Or someone who will give you tips on how to make your virtual sex bot more intelligent. I do a lot of nonsense online, but why should anyone have the right to know about it? I mean, I'll probably tell you in five years anyway, knowing me...LOL I'm a writer after all. These days being a minority has become a menace. Everyone has the right to snoop on you, all of a sudden. I don't want to aid any FBI official by telling them anything about my private life, if he or she decides it's okay to ask any question they like, just because they can. Should I divulge my sexual preferences if they are not what everyone else are? Or that I may be fantasizing about a neighbor or a Jesuit monk who looks like Richard Chamberlain? Should they be spying on me to see if I am adulterous, or if I own a gun, or if I watch porn? Really? What do I owe the State, or my friends, or my family or anyone else? Why are we always bound to so many people? "You owe me the truth!" says a woman to her adulterous husband. "No. Honey. I owe you nothing," he says back. Really. We should not owe people anything and not live our lives based on expectations of others, either. If I want to have a tumultuous affair with someone, certainly some expectation my husband may have about marriage won't keep me from having one, and vice versa. And what does that mean, anyway? Owing people? Unless you've signed a written contract saying you won't commit adultery, I don't know if mumbling vows in a Church will hold as breach of contract. In fact, in most marriage-contracts adultery and other conditions for a smooth marriage are left out as clauses. Are there any clauses? If there were, would people stay together? As it is, most relationships go sour with time, until one party realizes they have unhealthy expectations about marriage. You're in a life-long room-and-board situation. You don't own the poor guy. Can you imagine what would happen if we actually did have the clauses of marriage written down? "No keeping toilet seat up. No watching porn. No eyeing half-naked women at beaches. No, absolutely no big breasted Swedish Bombshells in your fantasy!" Yeah! That would work. Women would be suing left and right and lawyers would be in pig-heaven for a short while, but then no one would ever get married again. And what about women? We aren't perfect either. If a man does not live up to our expectations we immediately start to look for a male role model for our kids. If female emotional adultery isn't the same as male sexual adultery, then women and men are one and the same. So why lose sleep over petty things? Relationships are not to be given adjectives like "forever" and "eternal" and "defining". They are unhealthy dependencies if they don't respect your freedom as an individual. And they are over-valued, anyway. Your husband or wife is not your Mom and Dad. Your Mom and Dad are not God. God is not who He's said to be! Really, you're just a nobody whose being played on by a group of law-makers and power-seekers and preachers who want you to be good sheep, because it furthers their own power. So, why focus all your time trying to make other people happy when you can make yourself happy? If Clinton had come to me around the time of the whole hoopla saying, "Should I lie about having "sex with that woman" just because some Independent Counsel thinks he can destroy my Presidency?" I would have said, "Well, Mr. President. Frankly, I don't want to know what you did. And to think that Kenneth Starr does want to know makes me think he's a real loser. So go ahead and lie your ass off under oath, because most people in the country are not Republicans, anyway." Really. There's something about people not minding their own businesses that infuriates me, and makes me wonder if they are really happy in life. I mean, are the Republicans in Congress really that much happier and better people than people who have adulterous sex? Why are they better? Is adultery worse than lying about things that really matter -- like funding CIA operations by selling drugs all over the World? Or like supporting a war not because of national security but to further contracts for Halliburton? Please! Quit the hypocrisy. People in power lie and deceive you every day. So stop trying to be the model citizen -- oh servant of anyone who leads! Wake up yourself! |
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